Sometimes the hardest thing to discover is yourself...and waiting seems to be the hardest thing to do lately.

Isn't it a cute pig?? It was the THIMUN 2003 mascot...and I drew it!! One of my friends have this pig that dances and sings..kekeke. Awww...it's so cute!

Maybe it's because at times I refuse to see what is really true, but I choose to see what I want to see...but I just realized that my family means more to me than I'll probably ever know. All the nagging, the worries, and the constant criticism, are all apart of the way family shows that they care. I guess it all depends on the way you see it...if you take your mother's nagging as nagging...then you'll end up tuning out to everything she says, not knowing that what she says may bare some truth. I guess the saying "the truth always hurts" applies completely.

My mother used to nag me all the time, enough to drive me insane...but I only used to concentrate on the things she said in which I didn't want to hear, instead of looking at the bigger picture. And now...well things are different...a lot different. I'm beginning to see how important little things between family may be, no matter how small.

You figure new things out everyday... :P

Do you ever feel like everyone has such high expectations of you that you can't live up to? Right now I feel like everyone around me expects me to be this smart, intelligent, talented person...and you know what? I don't think I fit that profile. I'm just tired of my parents expecting me to be their ideal student and child. I never asked for these expectations, and in fact I never guaranteed them that I can fulfill them either. I feel like someone else is deciding what I should be, when in reality I don't even know the answer. I'm just so tired of living to someone else's standards, expectations and dreams. It is as if I've lost me inside all that. Yeesh...who knew life would be this difficult?? And who knew family would be so demanding??

I wish I could go onto an uninhabited island and live there for a while just to get away....

*sigh*

I think there's a time in everyone's life where you have to move on and do something new. Well...so here I am with just six more weeks in Egypt. This place has been my home for the past seven years, and it makes me wonder how fast my time here has gone by. It just seems like yesterday when I walked into the Cairo airport for the very first time. And now that the actually reality of leaving here has hit me, I begin to see that the friends I've made, the people I've met, and the experiences I've had have become a huge part of me. Yup...there were some really bad experiences, but the great memories diminishes those bad experiences.

Regardless, there will be other experiences for me to experience.....but first I gotta get through the four weeks of intensive exams that I have starting in May. Just when I thought you could stop working. Then I'll probably be off to somewhere in North America, or Korea...but let's hope it doesn't come to that.

"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not." -Emerson